yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
