Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
