Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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