That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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