Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
