normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
