i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
