Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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