Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
