Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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