I am in a vortex of obligation.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
