I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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