it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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