i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
