i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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