so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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