And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
