I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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