fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The adults are the big ones right?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
