She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
