Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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