im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
