ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
