I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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