I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
