im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
