I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
