Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
