bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
