best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
