All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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