He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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