I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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