aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
