Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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