Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
