i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
