Duck Duck Cougar?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
