It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
