If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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