You're my little dorito
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
