Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
