i was born a porn star she said
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
