Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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