I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
