i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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