it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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