You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
