Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I AM VODKA MAN
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
