I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
