Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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