just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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