she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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