All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
