I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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